Glamazons,
The craziest thing happened to me this weekend. I’m standing on line to buy books at The Pinky Promise Conference in Atlanta, and the cashier looks up at me and says “Wow, Curl Goals.” I was so unaccustomed to receiving compliments on my hair that it didn’t even register that she was talking to me until I walked away. The same thing happened on Instagram when @freedomsells commented saying “Your hair looks great. How do you keep your curls defined?” I was all like, “you’re asking ME?!” I never consider myself one of those natural girls who has the texture and styles everyone wants.
My natural hair process has not been the easiest. When I first big chopped and dyed my hair, I was in love with the curl pattern and mostly wore it in a wash-and-go style or did Bantu knot outs. It was so pretty!
Rocking a twist-out after I big chopped
A bantu-knot out that came out perfect when my hair was short
As it grew longer, I started to feel that my tightly-coiled hair was just not ideal. Most of the vloggers and curly Instagram pages prized textures that did not look like mine. If your hair could be characterized as “4C” like mine, it was only gorgeous if it was super long. Looser curls could be beautiful in any style from cuts to bobs. I fit neither mold. So I got to work testing out twist outs, braid outs and Bantu knot outs but quickly decided it was way too labor-intensive to do all the time.
A braid-out when my hair was mid-length
And even if I used all the products they listed and recreated each step perfectly, it dawned on me that my hair would never look like bloggers with looser or longer hair.
My next option? Grow out my hair and achieve a big ole obnoxious ‘fro with my kinky texture! I started taking hair growth pills and wearing protective styles to retain length and minimize breakage.
Wearing crochet braids in DR two years ago
Wearing curly extensions in Cuba this year
Yes, my hair grew but I started to treat those protective styles like a crutch. I still hadn’t taken the time to find the products and styles that work on my own hair because I wasn’t doing it myself everyday.
A pretty devastating experience changed all that for me. My (amazing) hairstylist Seto was straightening and trimming my hair before Jamaica and he told me there was breakage all along the sides of my hair thanks to the extensions I was wearing (extensions won’t necessarily break your hair if you take proper precautions. I wasn’t). I was so upset but I’m thankful for that experience. It was the push I needed to start taking better care of my hair and to give the extensions a rest for awhile.
But I still wasn’t sure if my own hair would look good enough. That sounds ridiculous now but I genuinely felt that way.
An updo once I committed to wearing my hair out at the beginning of the summer
Committed to wearing my hair out, I tried updos like a top knot and the style I called the “Whitney Houston” (a French roll in the back and curls spiraling down in the front). Then I graduated to tying my hair up into one big pouf at the top. Before I knew it, I was experimenting with hair colors (read about me going blonde here and here) and roller sets.
Rocking a curly pouf in New Orleans
But I still didn’t feel great about my ‘fro and rarely wore it out in a wash-and-go style. It just wasn’t big enough and defined enough and the list goes on. I realized my issue with my ‘fro wasn’t about texture — it was about maintenance. My hair wasn’t getting enough TLC so my curls weren’t popping and my ‘fro wasn’t thick and full. I started searching for products that my hair responded well to, and I stopped worrying about which products were popular in the natural hair community.
A wash-and-go in New Orleans
I found that my hair responds really well to a conditioning treatment of mayonnaise and eggs (and yes, it’s gross but worth it LOL)! I also discovered that the LOC method is best to help me retain moisture. I love Camille Rose Naturals Moisture Butter and Cantu Shea Moisture Leave-In Conditioner as a leave-in. I seal with coconut oil. Then, I scrunch my curls with a styler Paul Mitchell foaming pomade to provide hold, add shine and smooth out frizz (I only use a tiny bit of the pomade and also dilute it with water. I’ll do a separate post on it later). If I do the LOC method on stretched, dry hair, it looks thicker and fuller.
A wash-and-go on wet hair that I let air-dry
That’s the short answer on what I do to achieve this style but I gave this long, drawn out story because everyone’s hair is different. That might not work for your hair. You have to spend time with it, try a million products and figure out what works best for you based on what your hair responds to.
A wash-and-go on wet hair that I let air-dry. It’s still damp here.
Also, I get so many comments and in-person encounters where people tell me “my hair won’t do what yours does,” or “I can’t wear my hair out,” and I think that’s sad. I used to feel that way and that’s why I hid behind manipulating my hair (with twist-outs, etc.) or putting it away (in protective styles — which are fine if you’re not using it as a crutch like I did). Now the same hair I was hesitant to show is getting compliments from people.
L.O.C. method on dry hair
Give your hair and texture a chance. Your hair doesn’t have to be down your back or have a loose texture for it to look beautiful. Mine has neither. Even though it’s looser now because I dyed it, it still eventually shrinks and coils up. And I don’t mind that anymore. My texture or length hasn’t drastically changed but my attitude toward my hair has. And I think embracing my hair and wearing it with confidence is really what draws people to it. I want the same for you guys.
L.O.C. method on dry hair
I just don’t see the point of this natural revolution if we’re only going to celebrate one type of texture and put looser curls on a pedestal. I promise if you take care of your hair, spend time with it and find the products and styles that work for YOU, you’ll see the beauty in your own texture instead of trying to copy someone else’s. Now I’m so in love with my hair that when I do rock updos or wear extensions, I can’t wait to take them out and get back to my ‘fro. Imagine that!
Kisses,
Glamazon Jessica
