Glamazons,
Once upon a time, I invited reader’s opinions about celebrity style on this blog. That stopped when I started writing for a few mainstream sites where commenters on discussion boards rip people to shreds like it’s a sport. The experience taught me that where meanness is allowed, planted, encouraged and nurtured, it grows like a weed and spreads like disease. What was once a sounding board for differing opinions can rapidly turn into a bottomless well of negativity. And as I get older, I realize how important it is to guard your energy and surround yourself with words that uplift, empower and encourage.
It made the words that many of our mothers share, and blogger Rocquelle Porch recites, all the more poignant: “If you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all.” I stopped posting about celebrity style that I don’t love. And I started using this platform to build women up rather than sit idly by while readers tear them apart. It not only transformed this blog into a safe, positive space but it was instrumental in lifting my spirits. The more I encouraged women to be stylish, bold, confident and free, the freer I felt. That’s the kind of energy I am committed to spreading.
The other kind is like poison, and it burned Blogger Rocquelle Porch when she was featured on Essence.com wearing a red lip stain. Knowing nothing of her past, where she admittedly battled with self esteem issues and feeling like she can’t wear certain makeup colors, people attacked her and added fuel to the myth that women with dark skin can’t wear red lipstick. I’ve wrote at length about how untrue that is, but what does it matter if we constantly breathe life into it by criticizing each other?
And even if you’re not a fan of the look — and to be clear, that’s your right — why go online and attack a woman you don’t know for being brave enough to rock it? Why tear someone down who chose to courageously share her story of self-love and style expression with the world just because you prefer a different look? If you so desperately felt the need to speak out against her look, can’t you do that in a way that’s helpful and not hurtful? I’m not saying you have to always support what you see online, but it’s important to recognize how powerful words are and to harness that power to spread positive energy to others. Not for them but because, as I learned, it comes back to you tenfold.
And by the way, Rocquelle, you’re slaying in that lip.
Kisses,
Glamazon Jessica
Love it!